I realized something about myself the other day. I’m afraid of starting a new relationship even though I would like to be in one. I think there is some acceptance issues around being gay, ie being gay makes me less worthy as a person, I’m not whole. I’m also just plain afraid of getting into a relationship and then getting my feelings hurt. My most significant relationships have always lacked something which is ultimately why they ended. Its the feelings getting hurt that I”m most aware off. Consciously I realize that taking risks is a part of being in a relationship. I’m not sure I’m ready yet