It is another HOT day here in Seattle. It’s 6:41pm and 86 degrees. This is third or fourth day with above 80 degree temps. I’m dying over here about all I can do is drink water and nap.

I’m off today, I have to clean and get ready for weekend guests. We are celebrating Mikes birthday this weekend because his real birthday happens on Gay Pride, which just isn’t the best time.

Work is going well, really well. I am enjoying myself immensely. the home life is a mixed bag. I enjoy living with M, lord knows we’ve lived together a long time. I sometimes wish I lived on my own. This isn’t a comment on Mike at all! Then there are other times were I can’t imagine living any differently then we do now. It’s a tough choice we know each other really really well. Knowing someone like we do can cause its share of difficulties. I guess these thoughts come to mind because our lease is coming up and we’ve had conversations about moving into separate spaces. There are three reasons that I continue to live in the present situation. First I enjoy Mikes company and the life that we have created. Secondly, because together we have more financial leverage. Thirdly, because we’ve lived together for so long we mostly harmonize.

I’m a heading out for a bit. Mike and I are going to meet up with a few friends for cocktails. My favorite lately have been watermelon kamikaze. They are simple and way to good. The basic Kamikaze comes down to 1/3 Vodka, 1/3 Triple Sec, and 1/3 Lime Juice. Some places substitute lime juice for muddles limes. I like the muddled version better. Speaking of alcohol, I saw a biography of Liza Minelli last night. She seems like such a fun person. She was describing what alcohol was like for her and why it is a problem. She said that, no I’m paraphrasing, everyone has a cocktail now and again. For some people, they get sleepy, some get a little giddy, for her it made everything right. I have friends with substance problems and this just made everything a lot clearer about how booze affects them. Time to get primped.

More thoughts on hate-speech and anger

Even though I work for the City I had to go into to work today. It’s only the Federal Offices that are closed (including the post-office). On my walk back from work I started contemplating anger, which I think can be a proper response and hatred which is never a proper response, particularly since our vision of what’s what is so always limited to “ground level” views. One of the things that I get out of the lessons of Xiatianity is that love should always be the motive and method. Sometimes that love requires us to walk away from others or make similarly difficult choices. Hatred of anyone or thing should never be tolerated. It is divisive, and never healing. People holding onto hatred (disguised in whatever mantle) aren’t really hurting others, they ARE refusing to allow themselves to heal and move on from whatever caused the hurt, slight or injury in the first place. It is for this reason that I always cringe whenever I hear the relative of some murder victim, indicating that they will never forgive the criminal (usually followed by the very christian sentiment of hoping for eternal damnation for said criminal). Yes, it is understandable that they would be angry, mad and deeply wounded, however THERE healing won’t come UNTIL THEY forgive the criminal. Hatred in these (and other) types of situations DOES have a purpose, it allows one to be the victim, if thats a persons thing and it serves them, great just as long as you know thats the role you’ve put yourself in. This is not to say that the criminal is free and clear, they have there own stuff to deal with. I don’t want my idea to get lost in the example; love heals and is the only way to honestly deal with one another. Hate kills, holds back and destroys everything good.

So this is what I was thinking on my way back from work. I realize most people don’t see things this way, and I’m totally ok with it because I do and that’s all that counts to me. I believe we are all in a place spiritually where we allow ourselves to be (God’s grace will only take us as far as we allow Her to) and if you or I aren’t ready to see that Love is the only answer or some other truth, who am I to push you there? I can only speak what god has shown me.

I’m feeling a bit politically incorrect these last few days because I’m just seeing so much anger and hate speech over Reagans death. I know he did a lot of things that (from my perspective) were wrong, and I certainly didn’t vote for him, especially back then when I was excessively liberal. I just don’t understand how what he did justifies some peoples hateful self-righteousness. I won’t even begin to talk about Nancy. If anything I’m glad that he passed, not for any other reason then he left the building a while back and the only one suffering were the ones that loved and understood him the most. I only hope that the twig I see in your eye isn’t nearly as big as the tree in my own.

it’s 1:30 in the morning. I couldn’t sleep well last night I had so much to do today that my brain woke up at 3 in the monring. I new that if I napped this afternoon and drank coffee I’d be up again and so I am. Things are going really well with the job, I’m happier now than in a very long time. Things are coming together in so many ways. I’m down to 233 (from 250). It will be one year being smoke-free at the end of this month. Sprirtually things are not much different than they have ever been with the exception that there is a peace with the journey. Everyone that is important to me is health and doing well which creates a great big space of gratitude in my life. I really need to down some valerian root caps and try and sleep. just wanted to make some noise since I was up.