It was beautiful here in Seattle today, temps got up to over 80 in spots. I went downtown after I got all of my paperwork organized and sorted. It was really great to have the sun out and the weather warm. It did remind me that I really need to lose a little around the middle though.

The weather here yesterday (Sunday) and today is going to be gorgeous. It’s supposed to get as warm as 70 today. Mike & I went for a walk up on Broadway yesterday. It was very nice. Browsing bookstores and such

I’m still waiting on my tax refund. I had to file a 1040x (amended return) which apparently takes 8-10 weeks, Dang. I might get a check sometime around June. I’m out in full force looking for work. I’m determined to find a job. I’m on Spring break until school starts up again. I’m enjoying it but am really anxious to get working again. If I hope to do any of the things that I plan to do over the next 2 years I need more money. I’m planning a trip to LA in June along with some other trips later on this summer.

Well I need to get busy. It’s that time again, my paperwork has gotten backlogged and I need to organize file and throw=away. After that I’m heading downtown to enjoy the weather a bit. I’m going to go to Pikes Place Market and pick up some german deli (yum yum) .

Well I just got back from the Math final and I’m afraid I froze up during most of the test. The questions were relatively easy I just couldn’t think logical and step by step. The thing that I was most afraid of was that I had to maintain a 2.0 in each of my classes. I found out that my GPA had to be 2.5 or higher, mine is 3.8 right now. If I don’t get a decent final grade I may take this class over again until I do get it right.

I can’t seem to get to sleep. it’s almost 3am. I keep tossing and turning. I have a nasty case of anxiety about my math test. I hate this shit. I’m getting cranky now out of exhaustion. I’ve just popped some asprin for the growing knot in my neck and some valerian cause there almost as good as the Valium you can get at Western and Santa Monica from the Mexican newspaper stands. I’m sure that its much more than the test. I’ve feeling anxious about money, my living situation, work (the lack thereof), the relentless desire for success (material and social). Funny thing about that last one is there isn’t anyone significant in it. I have no desire to be with anyone. Relationship is more often a major hassle than any benefit I get from it. I know that sounds terribly cynical and jaded, and maybe it is or maybe I haven’t found the right person or maybe I’m just fucked in the head with being so tired. I have this fantasy of finishing school getting work and putting away money then moving back to LA were I will have this great career and not be bothered by how crowded it is or how much warm weather and lack of seasons pisses me off after awhile. One of the things that made LA pretty good for me ws having a buddy to share my favorite places and things with. Seattle has been a haven and a home to me. The continued lack of work really keeps me from being as firmly planted here as I would like. I love my friends, I have more now than I ever have and I would hate to not be around them. What I really would like to see is that I find work that allows me (time-wise) to finish up with schooling. I think having that income and working again would make things so much better.

I have to keep reciting my affirmation, everything is exactly as its supposed to be and I always have what I need for now.

I forgot to mention that today is the last day for most of my classes. I have 2 projects to turn in monday and a math final on Tuesday and then thats it til april 5th when school starts up again. Next semster is only Tuesday and thursdays but I’m looking forward to it. Unless I get the job that I interviewed for earlier this week. That would so make me happy. I’m liking school but hating the lack of disposible income.

I caught David Letterman last night because I have this fascination with Courtney Love ever since I bumped into her at a porn shop on Santa Monica a few years back. She looks like shes had more work done on her face. She was just acting completely out of control, she couldn’t seem to answer any of the questions with a coherent sentence, how can she possibly mother Francis Bean? It makes you wonder if this is all mugging for the camera or what. Still she always grabs my attention.

Somehow between yesteday afternoon and this morning I managed to mess up my upper back. I must have twisted funny because now my neck, shoulders and back are stiff and sore. I’m really not liking this. It’s overcast and rainy my back hurts and I have 2 projects that I need to finish for school. I know whine whine whine. I’m allowed its my space.

I’m making a pot of coffee and putting my nose to the computer grindstone to finish up these projects so that I’ll be done with everything except the final on Tuesday.