it really no suprise that I’m thinking about Southern California. I get this away most years around this time. I long for the Spring, and better weather. I may say that I like the cooler weather, which I do, it’s those damn barren trees and the whole outside seemingly in the midst of a coma. I want green leaves and pretty flowers. Los Angeles although cooler this time of year is still has better weather than here. I lived there long enough that I was able to detect the seasons but they are subtle at best. I enjoy the sun and weather, the perpetually green palms.

On a secodary note. It is less than 4 days (Jan 1) before I hit that big 40. I have mixed feelings about it, not that I can do a damn thing. I feel like running away to LA right now. How crazy is that. I’ve seen what the rents are like in LA these days. Besides I love it here and the life I’ve created for myself. You can never go back, as they say. This is a small birthday breakdown. In any event I need to get out of Seattle for a bit and I’m thinking that a nice road trip to LA is just what I need.

I need to visit southern california. I’ve been thinking about it for a few weeks now. I’m thinking about driving down, espcially since I have the new car. I need a break from all this. I’m also feeling pretty ambitious about making some changes in my life. I’m doing the school thing which I really like. I need to find an acutal job job so I can start squireling away money for whenever I move out of here.

Definately need a break from the familar. I’m going to call a few friends down in SoCal.

Just a quick entry before I head to bed. I had a good weekend. My foul mood from last week has disipated. I worked on addressing the issues that were bumming me out and now things are fine. Today Mike, Myself and another friend hung out all day. We strolled downtown and the waterfront, had lunch up on Broadway and watched a few movies this evening. It was really relaxing.

Aside from this not much else. School of course is over til Jan 5th. A friend of mine from LA might be coming up here for a visit, which would be really cool. Mike and I are having some friends over on Xmas for an impromptu get together in the evening. My 40th birthday (Jan 1st) is coming up far to quickly. I am looking forward to this coming year I have high hopes and good plans for the coming year. Well, time for bed.

To try and shake the blues I decided to go see LOTR – Return of the King. I really enjoyed it. They did an amazing job visually. There were a few times were I got choked up, and a few points were there was actual humor. I’m glad I went. I’m home now and just got into my sweats. I called Mike and told him that I wouldn’t be picking him up from work to go shopping. The malls are going to be insane, and with the mood I’m already skating around I don’t think it would be a good combination. There will be lots of sales after Xmas, so I told him I would take him then. He can always go on his own if he likes or with someone else.

I’m going to go read for awhile, and I do have my final test to finish up for Unix class. I’ll be turning that in tomorrow and then I’m totally completely done with this quarter.

Now that I’ve got that uncomfortable bit out of the way. I need to think about what I can do for myself, since it’s highly unlikely that I’m going to get the babying that I want. I can

go to the gym
go for a walk
clean the house
read a book
call my agencys for work (more money always makes me happy)
go get a nice coffee
go take some interesting pictures.
go clothes shopping

or realize that I have everything I need in my life right now.

I’m not in a very good mood. It started Saturday night for me. Some plans I had fell thru which was ok, cause other ones came up. I went out with a few friends of mine but every place we’d go I’d bump into people that I didn’t like. It really sucked because there were these blemishes on my evening standing right there. It really just set me in a bad mood. Sunday my mood continued but there was some relief in that I spent the day being lazy, window shopping and having lunch with Mike up on Broadway. Monday my mood returned because there was just so much to do, I felt rushed. The same thing Tuesday except this was more because someone in my life dissapointed me. Today’s Wednesday and I still feel icky. I’m not sure if it’s the weather or things in my life or things not in my life or my upcoming 40th birthday. I know I don’t feel so happy right now and I could really use some babying.

Favorite Book: I’m rather embarrassed about this one because I started reading 5 different books, yet never finished any of them. As far as that goes, Jean Auel – The Shelters of Stone.

Favorite New Album: SealIV – Seal

Favorite Movie: LOTR – Return of the King

Most Significant Event this year: I would have to say returning to school and moving downtown have had the most impact on me.

Most Important lesson: This one isn’t new, its been repeated every year now for the last 4 years. Appreciate every breath and every moment you have with those important to you. We can and will be gone more quickly than we can imagine.

Saddest Event: Defiantly losing Failo in October. I miss him and the fallout for other people I love is really hard to think about.

Happiest Event: Having Nana and Dad visit here back in the Spring. It was such a joy to have them around and to enjoy there company. Secondarily, quitting smoking back in July. One of my brighter moments.

It’s a good thing to review. Overall, this is year was a really good year. It was punctuated by some moments of intense sadness as well as happiness. It is a fortunate thing that the moments of happiness outnumber the moments of sadness. I let go of some people that weren’t doing me any good (nor I them) back last Winter. Dad and Nana visited in the Spring, along with Michelle and Failo later on. Mike and I moved through some awkwardness in our evolving friendship. This Spring brought a family reunion in Colorado with my mom, sister, aunt/uncle and there family all getting together for my cousins wedding. It was a really fun time and a great visit with everyone.

The Summer brought the end of a contract (with ATT Wireless) and news that Mike and I would be moving out of our home of 5 years. It was a bit chaotic and exciting all at once. Kismit prevailed and we moved into the apartment we’d always talked about moving into. It also was the last visit we had with Fialo before his passing. It was so nice to hangout with Nathan, Michelle and Fialo. Living in the new place and in particular living downtown has already had such a strong impact on my life. My social circle has opened, I’m happier living down here. There is just more of everything, opportunity would be the word to summarize this change.

Fall this year has brought a return to school after almost 20 years. In late Summer I stumbled upon my avocation. The chips all fell into place and I returned to school in late August early September. I’ll be in school now until at least the Summer of 2005. I’ve really enjoyed it. My brain is having to work again in new ways and being a bit older than when I was last in school, I appreciate it more and am having a much more enjoyable time.

Winter this year hasn’t even arrived, at least not in the technical sense. I’m looking forward to Christmas at home with my babys (ratties and cats) and Mike. Spending time with new friends and some old ones to.