Conscious Catholicism

One of my co-workers came to my cube and said, “you’ve been awfully quiet lately” I responded “that’s becaue I don’t like anyone here and would rather be home.” I immediately followed up with I’m kidding, which is mostly true. I don’t really like some of the people here, I do like Special Services folks and I do like Cathy upstairs, but I can’t really see myself either pretending I like the others or that I would ever socialize with them. It’s not that they are bad people or anything negative, I just don’t have anything in common with them. I think this co-worker didn’t belive me when i said I was kidding which ultimately doens’t really matter to me.

I’m picking up Mike after work and planning on paying some bills before the long holiday weekend. We have to pickup grocerys and smokes too!! I’m really looking forward to having a long weekend. I have nothing other than playing with Tobey and the other kitties to do this weekend. Perhaps watch lots of assorted movies to and of course the obligatory phone calls to realtives.

Am I getting bitter and jaded as I get older? or cantankerous? I find myself asking this question a lot more. I don’t know what the answer is. I startle myself sometimes by the directness of my replys to somethings. I have little to no faith in most anyone under 25 anymore, it maybe that the value systems under which our seperate generations were raised are so completly different, or it may be that they just have no value system. It distresses me because I really am not a bitter or unfriendly person at all, and in fact I am very sensitive. I don’t like not caring about some of the things that I really just thnk are going to hell in a handbasket, but I don’t. Well more ponderings on assorted inane and various things later on.


Born in New York, Educated in the Berkshires, Became an adult in CA and found my Soul in Seattle. I'm a bearish middle aged, happy man who lives w my husbear in the OC.