confessions

cubfan – you express so many of the feelings that I have and your woofy to boot

full_exposure – I lust after you and think you are the HOT shit I would so like to hangout at the Abbey with you.

Goddess Kring – I want the relationship with San Diego man to work out and you have no idea how many times we’ve crossed paths on Cap Hill. keep on creating flowing dancing speaking.

MS Lauren (lmjvp) you are me without my dick or anyone else’s for that matter in a lot of ways

prowler323 – I think of you and pray for your health – I’m not nearly as brave as you are

mcmlxxiv – you share the fun

nodignitymuriel – Mike, you ARE ABBA trash. you may be my ex but I love you anyway you tired ole beatch.

tizzy_lish — we’re related and I knew you when you where really young ( your mom and I talked about your previous life in italy (Vesuvias, the spelling is fucked up) in a dive (restaurant) next to Pasadena Community College in 1998). You’re mom is the absolute shit of shits and I love her and your dad for all the help they gave me when I first moved to LA (Fuck yes to the Ciancimino) They did so much for me when I moved to LA in 87′ . That you are so into Rocky means the world to me!!

dad (and nana), certainly not least it’s taken over 25 years for us to find one another, I love you so much. you may not have been there but you are the reason I am who I am and being the humble soul I am and liking myself as much as I do,thank you.

I know all of this sounds like some fucked up acceptance speech. i just want to acknowledge some of you who read my live-journal and are a part of my online life.

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LA vs NY: the hoods

Ever go to some other city and find yourself scoping it out things in relation to your own neighborhood? Ryan over at losanjealous (who might just be one of the most entertaining bloggers in all of socal) just got back…

http://blogging.la/archives/2006/01/la_vs_ny_the_hoods.phtml

A couple of things.  I’ve written about the troubles at work that I’ve been having recently.  Well Fridays it all came to a conclusion or beginning depending on how you look at it.  I had written to my old supervisor and requested some help with my new supervisor.  As it turns out she and he in a coincidence had wanted to meet with me about issues.  I had spoken with my union rep and shared some of the crap going on.  She felt it would be in my interest that she be there.  I let both of my Supers know she would be attending.  Well needless to say they didn’t like this one bit and told me as much.  I didn’t say anything to them however, instead I let the union rep talk with them.  The meeting was canceled until a later time at which point the head of HR was know going to be involved.What a fiasco.  That meeting took place on Friday (the 13th).  The meeting lasted about an hour and a half.  The specifics aren’t important but I know now just how dysfunctional things are there.  In a lot of ways I’m grateful that the meeting took place.  I know the lay of the land and were the land mines are.  I had wanted to stay another 3 years so that I would make vesture, however I can’t imagine working under the current management.  I will continue to look for other opportunity’s within the city/county/state level.  I am open to moving outside of the public sector.  I really think I need to think in a new direction anyway.  Perhaps moving more into the web application development end of things.  Its usually around this time of year that I fantasize about moving back to Los Angeles, this year is no different.   I’m convinced its the desire to return to a simpler but far more difficult time.  It is also my need for sunshine and warmth.  Seattle with its protective cloud cover is lacking in the sunshine department especially lately.  Its been raining 27 days straight here. As a goof I keep an eye on apartment rentals in weho, which is were I’d want to live.  Average 2bed apartments are running around  1800.00.  This is actually how much the apartment across the street from were William and I lived (I think he still lives there) costs.  Its not much better up here.  Mike and I pay around 1200 a month for the equivalent apartment. The difference is a lot less than I would have thought.  I have 3 days off for presidents day in February maybe I should take another day and fly down for the weekend and get some sun.

first the blood and then the boys

So tonight I went and got the tatoo that I’ve wanted to get for sometime. the guy that did it was very good, a bit quiet (maybe he needed to oh say focus). I wanted to chat but it was better quiet I got to really immerse myself in process pain and all. I got a triquetra on my left forearm. Here is a pic… I know I’m supposed to keep it covered. This is my second tat and I have a few more planned.

tat1

This one is personally significant. It was truly empowering to get it.

Interview with inventor of LSD, Albert Hoffman, now 100

Xeni Jardin:

In today’s NYT, a fascinating interview with “father of acid” (and pal of Timothy O’Leary) Albert Hoffman, who turned 100 this week.

His work on ergot produced several important drugs, including a compound still in use to prevent hemorrhaging after childbirth. But it was the 25th compound that he synthesized, lysergic acid diethylamide, that was to have the greatest impact. When he first created it in 1938, the drug yielded no significant pharmacological results. But when his work on ergot was completed, he decided to go back to LSD-25, hoping that improved tests could detect the stimulating effect on the body’s circulatory system that he had expected from it. It was as he was synthesizing the drug on a Friday afternoon in April 1943 that he first experienced the altered state of consciousness for which it became famous. “Immediately, I recognized it as the same experience I had had as a child,” he said. “I didn’t know what caused it, but I knew that it was important.”

When he returned to his lab the next Monday, he tried to identify the source of his experience, believing first that it had come from the fumes of a chloroform-like solvent he had been using. Inhaling the fumes produced no effect, though, and he realized he must have somehow ingested a trace of LSD. “LSD spoke to me,” Mr. Hofmann said with an amused, animated smile. “He came to me and said, ‘You must find me.’ He told me, ‘Don’t give me to the pharmacologist, he won’t find anything.’ ”


Link. Image: Marc Latzel. (Thanks, John)

http://www.boingboing.net/2006/01/07/interview_with_inven.html

The Sage
You scored 49 Socially Involved, 9 Alienated, 75 Contented and 28 Optimistic
You appear to have managed to find contentment in spite of not being heavily social, a tremendous feat for any human being. You’re not lonely, so you don’t need to spend time thinking of how you could have a better social life. Congrats!
My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

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You scored higher than 99% on Social Level
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You scored higher than 0% on Alienation
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You scored higher than 99% on Contentment
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You scored higher than 50% on Optimism

Link: The Existential Loneliness Test written by DarkenedOaks on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Thank you to all of you that sent me Happy Birthday eCards or notes.  It was really nice of you.   There are a few things I’d like to see happen this year.  First and foremost I’m looking for a new job, I’d like to find one within the city but county or state are perfectly fine with me.  My current job has run out of challenges and frankly isn’t a very enjoyable place to be.  Also, Mike and I got notice that they are raising our rent at the end of this month which is when the lease is up.  We’ve decided not to stay.  I went looking for another place and I think we may have found one.  We definitely know the area we are moving to.  It’s further up Pike towards the top of Capitol Hill.  I even found this amazing little chalet-like apt/house for rent.  Its a 2 bed 2 bath and although its a bit more than what we are paying now its totally worth it both in terms of location and view.  The view from the living room window is a straight panorama of Elliott bay and the Space needle. How cool is that. There is an upstairs where I’m assuming the bedrooms are.  There is parking in the back and its within a five minute walk to both a natural foods store and a Safeway grocery store. This neighborhood seems a lot nicer.  there are significantly less homeless and its just quieter which is what I think we both want.  Anyway, so new job new home no more car loan and who knows maybe a new guy in my life?  I’m not sure I want the latter I’m quite content with just me but if it happens it happens.  I hope all of you have equally wonderful goals and aspirations in the coming year.

I had insomnia last night. I kept falling asleep only to toss/turn and wake up every 2 hours. I finally got up around 3:30-4ish. I’m completely zonked and want to stay home. I won’t of course, it would only mess up the sleep cycle further. I’ll work today and then go to bed earlier than usual tonight. zzzzzz

Merry Xmas Blessed Yule

I’ve been off work since Thursday and really relaxing. On Wednesday the 14th my department had our annual holiday (oh so politically correct) get together. There is an auction for Charity, I bid on and won the wine basket. There is a catered lunch and there are the Max awards. I received a Max award this year which was presented by the Mayor (of Seattle) and the director for Human Services. When my name was announced almost everyone stood and cheered as I went up to receive my award. There is nothing quite like having almost 200 people standing and cheering for you. It was very validating. I have a picture of myself with the Mayor and Director, a plaque as well as a letter commending my performance signed by both the director and the mayor. That is going in my resume for sure. This was especially important to me in light of the evil machinations of some folks within the IT and HR department.

On other fronts I paid my car loan off on thursday. It was almost anti-climatic. I immediately went to the DMV and paid for a new registration so that my former despotic overlords, Reliable Credit aren’t anywhere to be seen on any legal paperwork for my car. The car thing is a real milestone for me and was a very very important goal. It feels really good to have reached it. The work/award thing is especially nice and almost like the icing on what has been a difficult year all around. Last winter was really difficult for me emotionally. I think the word for this year would have to be draining. My 1/2 sister died, Katrina, the awful Tsunami, George Bush in office, the ongoing mess in the Iraq. I’m glad to leave this year behind like an unpleasant visit to the doctor, necessary to have gone through the experience but thoroughly distasteful. I have great hopes that this coming year will prove to be brighter and filled more with happiness and laughter.