It seems that so many of the other Blog sites I read are movng travelling or looking to move. What’s up with that, am I the only stagnent being. There is a new Fall like energy in the air here in Seattle, it really is invigorating. On a sadder note, it was my Grandma’s birthday yesterday. I thought of her and said a few Hail Marys, she would have liked that.

Today, I went and did the monthly big shop at SAMS club. I got out of there only having spent 140 bucks. This is pretty good considering that that is everything for the next month and a 1/2 that isn’t perishable. Mike and I still get milk and veggies over at Larry’s market across the street. I love Larry’s every city should have a Larrys. You can choose from like 50 different kinds of mustard, and 40 kinds of olive oils. They just have the largest selection, it’s like a gourmet grocery store, for people that like to shop. Now I know that there are some that don’t in and out describes not only some peoples idea of shopping but also there favorite food. I have some major domestic gene that always kicks in when it comes to grocery shopping, I LOVE it. MIke doesn’t like going with me because I will read labels and meander like a cow grazing in a field full of grasses. Anyway, that is what I did this morning for 3 1/2 hours. Now I’m home, we had lunch, I just pulled the apple crisp out of the oven for dessert tonight. I’m going to browse for homes in the area. Our lease is up in January and we really would rather move into a home we own than another overpriced rental proptery with annoying neighbors. Just 10 more days until my Dad gets here.

On another note, the weather has taken a decidely Fallish turn here, it has me positively dancing!! I Love Fall. Another reason for dancing is that my Dad is going to be coming out here to Seattle to visit with Us (Mike, the cats, the rats and me). I’m very happy espcially since it looks like he will be staying for 2 weeks this time. I think that having the 2 weeks this time and having been here once before it will make the visit a lot more relaxed and enjoyable for everyone. I do have 3 things that I want to do while he’s here. I want to take him on the Ferry over the the Olympic Pennisula, to Sequim, Port Angeles. I want to take him down to the International District and some of the shops down there. I think we should also go to the zoo/aquairum while he’s here. Other than that I think we’ll just hangout here and downtown. We have a few things to get for Phyliss while he’s here not the least of which is a butter kugen.

I’ve had a really weird day so far. Last night I had a bunch of dreams about living in California and about William (an old friend). I woke up this morning from the dreams and had that “dream hangover” feeling where even though the dream is over, you just can’t shake the overall feeling of the dream. I really think that the dreams were about feelings of unresolved regret that I have. To make matters even more interesting, I spoke with my friend Hope from California on the phone and she brought up that she had spoken to Ed, who was one of my longer term boyfriends when I lived there. He was a despicable person, mean, shallow, cruel and a mental mess of a human being. This of course doesn’t say much about my state of mind at the time, but then I think most people have that one absolutely shifty relationship that hopefully teaches them what a relationship SHOULD NEVER BE, well Ed Hunter was mine. Anyway, I was talking with Hope who also knew Ed and she was telling me that she spoke with him about 3 weeks ago. I came up because I had called him and wished him well on his birthday, he has stopped tweaking, stopped drinking and supposedly has gotten his life together. Good for Him I say, I always like to hear that someone who’s life was so out of control IS NOW in control. Anyway, it was weird hearing about him the same day that I had just had dreams about one of the other significant relationships in my life at that time. I needed to mention it just because.

Muggy is one of my least favorite weather conditions to live in. It was muggy and uncomfortable here in North Seattle. The good part of the muggy business is that I was inspired to make something cool and satifying for dinner so I made a fabulous (even if I do say so myself) green salad with braised shredded chicken breasts. I also had a hankering for tom kah kai (Thai lemon chicken coconut soup), and so I made up a batch using my friend Kim’s chilis (oh so spicy). Mike liked it I liked it even the ratties got in on the leftover rice action. Ratties love rice and mine all love cukes also. Ok I’m starting to babble now so it’s time to head to bed. It’s only 10:49 must be all of that mugginess again.

There are so many cool hipster Blog sites out there, it’s the new poseur venue. I feel so dull and uninspired, so raw and real, like the Oklahoma cousin in the big city. It’s almost like High School all over again.

It was a talkitive day today, a lot of conversations. That LA entry really was a realization. One of my goals in journalling is to put into words for myself what’s swimming in my awareness and hopefully in the process have a few “aha moments” . It’s cheaper than therapy and more fun. I’m planning to fly to LA next month and stay with Hope most of the time that I’m there. I’ll either rent a car or borrow Hopes to get my stuff out of storage and into the thriftstores.. anyone want an Apple IIGS, with every know manual printed for it? I do have a bunch of things like my journals and sketchpads from 30 years ago, some antiques and such that I want to bring back or ship back here to Seattle. Once thats all done I need to finally switch over my Cali drivers license to a WA and be done with that part and time of my life.

These are some of my goals for the upcoming Quarter.

I want to learn German

I want to learn VB6
As my first project I will create an app that does the Mahobet chart

I want to learn HTML

I am going to make Director this month

I am going to get a part-time job at Borders this month

Mike and I are going to move Downtown in January

I am going to visit back east this fall

I am going to take care of the rest of my things in LA by November 1 of this year

I am going to start tithing 10% of my income because I know that the Universe is unlimited
and this is good for my circulation thinking

I am going to get a new car.

For some reason I started thinking a lot about West Hollywood today. I miss a whole lot of things about living there, interestingly most of them are retail in nature. The weather doesnt’ hold appeal for me as it’s almost always warm and sunny. I like my 4 seasons or at least 3, Fall being the most important to me. Life was much more of a struggle there than anywere I’ve lived before. I think that part of Weho’s appeal for me is that I met a lot of interesting people while I lived there, I grew a lot there and the struggle is something that calls me back as a sort of challenge. Being were I am now in life really changes the whole picture of Weho for me. I am not into the bar/A-list/poseur boy club scene so that holds no value in my estimation. I like places with moody weather, big storms rain, and sunny days too, Weho doesn’t have those, although the weather there is certainly not intolerable. Most of my friends have left Weho, it’s more of a stopping ground for those in there 20’s and early 30’s to kind of experiment and play with there life. Most of my friends have moved on into longterm relationships or babys and familys, moving back east to settle down or up North to communitys that support there more adult lifestyle. I guess in the longer view of things the reason I’m somtimes attracted to moving back, or living there is the lure of places familar and younger, the excitement of life in LA, to see how I would do things differently than I did when I lived there before.

On a similar note, the whole moving bug that I have is a little wierd to me. I Love Love Love litving here in Seattle. You might not know it from reading this journal, but I do. The weather, the feel of the city everything about Seattle blends really well with who I am at this point in my life. I do feel a certain distance from my family, my dad (and Phyliss) my sister (Karen) and my step-mom, although that last one doesn’t make sense to me. I love my mom, but our relationship works better long distance (both physical and emotional). The East coast that overly saturated part of the country where everyone lives piled on top of each other and all paying through the nose for the privilige. I dont’ understand the desire to be “closer to my family” when I can call them just as easily now as visit if I lived next door. Moving back east isn’t (logically) going to bring me any closer to my family (emotionally). I like were I am, with Mike the cats and our ratties. San Fran is too too expensive and becoming more and more like LA all the time. I think the visiting thing is a good thing, but the moving thing for right now anyway isn’t going to happen. I like having space and not being piled on top of one another.

Just some guy. That’s all he’ll be to me but there are a whole lot of just some guys and just some girls to a whole lot of people out there. I woke up this morning, it’s AM here, got my coffee like usually petted the cats like usual and plopped myself down in front of my computer to read my e-mail, just some sites, and start my day. There is nothing unusual in my routine nothing to indicate that a stranger Bill Biggart, a photographer, will have any affect on my day whatsoever. I check my e-mail to find there are few jobs, too many people for them. Another e-mail is more inspirational, it’s my positive thought for the day. There is another e-mail, now printing out on the computer, cause I have it setup that way, it’s a job lead. All job leads print out automatically. Tobey, my cat has been sitting on my lap, as custom, since I plopped into my chair with my first cup of coffee. Tobey has now decided that his morning greeting is over, he gets up and heads towards the living room and I imagine his favorite spot on the sofa. There is a lead off of one of the sites I visit ever morning, it’s headline reads, The most amazing Sept 11th pictures you might ever see, I hesitate momentarily, I’m resistant to violent images, I’ve seen so many of that day, we all have that for a moment I mentally refuse to take another one in. For reasons that are too deep to ponder at 7 in the morning I move on to the article. It’s a good read, and very very sad, so sad in fact that I find myself crying not hysterical crying, just a light though deep grieving for humanity kind of crying. 7 in the morning and some guy, some guy I don’t know who died in Sept 11th attacks doing what he loved to do in life has made me cry. I start ponder this whole rather unusual situation, a grown man crying for someone I’ve never met, will never meet all because of that horrible event. There are a lot of just some guys out there for all of us, in some way he is everyone I care about, which is why I cried. He is an undertone of relief, selfish as it may be, thanking god that it was me there that day, feeling guilty that I was here in Seattle, 3000 miles away from that horrible day. He is a reminder almost a year later now, that this event is still so new even after a year, that there isn’t even a scar yet to show for it. The rage I feel towards ideologies that allow this type of thing from happening. The sorrow for the thousands of familys that have to deal with this directly, the millions more that didn’t lose a loved one that day, but have to deal with it anyway. Tobey is meowing now, it’s part of the morning ritual he’s returned to the computer room to stake claim to my lap once more. He reminds me that it is time to move forward with my day, that I can’t wrap this up all nice and neat, there isn’t closure to Sept. 11th yet for me and I have just some guy to thank for getting me that much closer, thanks Bill Biggart.

How did the Belief-O-Matic do? Discuss your results on our message boards .


1. Liberal Quakers (100%)
2. Unitarian Universalism (95%)
3. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (95%)
4. Neo-Pagan (94%)
5. New Age (90%)
6. Mahayana Buddhism (82%)
7. Bahá’í Faith (81%)
8. New Thought (74%)
9. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (72%)
10. Sikhism (69%)
11. Hinduism (65%)
12. Theravada Buddhism (64%)
13. Taoism (60%)
14. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (60%)
15. Orthodox Quaker (58%)
16. Reform Judaism (58%)
17. Secular Humanism (58%)
18. Scientology (55%)
19. Jainism (52%)
20. Jehovah’s Witness (45%)
21. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (45%)
22. Nontheist (38%)
23. Orthodox Judaism (33%)
24. Seventh Day Adventist (30%)
25. Eastern Orthodox (22%)
26. Islam (22%)
27. Roman Catholic (22%)

Forward this e-mail along to friends to show where among world religions you fit in and encourage them to take the quiz themselves.