Well, I finished up with the main thing that I came to LA for, which was to close out my Public Storage unit. I sorted and sifted through the boxes containing several years of my life. My friend Bab’s (who lives here) is letting me use her garage for storage until this summer, when I’ll come down and get everything. The rest of the things I donated to a local Woman’s shelter. Through the kindness of the PS manager, who will box up and bring everything over to the shelter for me. The only work that I had to do was to get what I wanted and pay this months rent. This whole arrangement is truly kismet in action, and a win-win for everyone. I swear that the space was a time capsule for the late 80’s early 90’s. I can breath now that it is mostly over, everything is still in the rental in the garage downstairs. Tomorrow I’ll get together with Babs around 1pm and put everything in her garage. Tonight, I’m going to go to Mickey’s and possibly Gold Coast. One of my favorite bartenders is working tonight and I haven’t seen him since I was here last. This year has really been one about consolidation and closure on so many levels. This is a very good thing as I really had wanted that to be the focus for myself, in order to move to the next part of my journey. In order to prepare for tonight’s outing, I went out and bought 2 new outfits. One for tonight and the other for lunch with friends tomorrow. I spoke with Mike and he had a good time last night, went out drank and sang bad karaoke, one of his favorite things. Maria slept over on the sofa. I am enjoying the visit here in-spite of what my other journal entries may lead one to believe. I have to say though I’m looking forward to getting back to my usual routine. Isn’t it funny when on vacation I look forward to getting back to the routine. Back to Mike, I want to pick him up something that he’ll like, I was thinking of some tacky, gay t-shirt, with some funny slogan on it. He’s so practical that he’d probably prefer that I just get him some nice undershirts instead. Well, I’m not going to head out until around 9pm so I have a few hours to kill. I was thinking of taking a nap, I am tired. My only concern is if I sleep now I won’t want to get up later on.
After reading my last entry, I thought God what a bitter old queen I sound like. What would Mr. Rogers think. There are many “real” guys living here, I’m thinking perhaps I’m experiencing culture shock. My previous comments should be taken as a “I’m really really thankful for what I have” and not as a generalized “dis” on WeHO folks. there are as many shades of white. All this still doesn’t mean that I’m NOT turning into an old bitter queen none the less.
well, long time and I haven’t written. I’m down in WeHo (West Hollywood) for a few days, mostely to close out my storage which I’ve been paying wayyy too much money for for the last 6 years. I value my journals, which have been there ( from the time I was 7 up to present, six years ago present anyway). I did go out and I’ve pretty much got covered all of the places that I would go. I’m sadly disapointed. Coming here has renewed my appreciation for all that I have in Seattle. Our music may be 6 months behind LA, and our boys don’t contain as much plastic, but they are just as corn bread superficial as any WeHo Queen. Tongue in cheek isn’t just an expression but a state of being here. Give me my North Seattle subburan life anyday. Why pay through the nose and ass (in most cases) when you can have all that I do. I have a job, a wonderful home, cleaner air, and a beautiful though disfunctional city. This old fag ain’t movin anywhere. I can get my “new” music on the internet, it’s digital baby. I can breathe clean air, and smoke in the bars all at the same time, thank Goddess. In short I can have a life that contains more depth than a tadpole pond. All this points out to me is that I am much better off than the average LA fag. I don’t have to work out 4x a week, know the “right” people, or smell the “right” way. We may not be as sofisticated in Seattle, but we sure have a better sense of how to live without spinning ones wheels for people that don’t matter in the longer scheme of things. Ok, so we don’t have Del Taco and In and Out Burgers, but we do have hookers on Aurora, Taco time and in bar gambling.
So making the transition from partners to friends is a difficult one. I’m already there in a lot of ways. It’s the dynamics of the previous relationship that must change. I still have a ways to go. I tend to think in terms of us or we when it comes to home related things, but as far as dating and seeing other people, I’m actually fine. The biggest issue I have is one of reliability. When someone says they are going to do something, I expect them to do it, and not have to prod, remind or ask them. This is the difficult part.
You would think that I fell off the face of the earth. I have written on LJ since the middle of December and here it is the last day of January. Lots has happened in that time. I found work, contract, but work none the less. I really like my job, I’m doing tech support at ATT Wireless. Christmas was low key, New Years/My birthday were also. I stayed in and was in bed by 10:30pm, is this a sign of aging? My goals for this year are pretty simple, get my ass into a stable job, payoff all my debt, save money, move in June and possibily go back to school. So far, I’ve paid off my student loan, 95% of all my debt, bought a new car and have a scouting trip planned for the end of February to LA. You can surmise from reading this that I’ve had NO social life, not that I had much of one to begin with. I’d really rather not have the spectre of an uncertain financial futrue looming over my head anymore, I mean I am 39.
As for Mike and I things are pretty much that same as usual, we are seperated, which hasn’t really changed the fundementals of our friendship, a good thing. He goes out more with his friends without me, which is a very good thing. I stay home with the kittys and my newest child, Tivo.
I’m looking forward to the trip to LA, it’s for 5 days. I’ll be staying at a really nice hotel, in Weho, not on the strip but close enough to walk. I’m going to catchup with old friends, take care of my things that I have in storage (for the last 5 1/2 years) , scout out the rental market, and the job market. I am seriously considering moving back to Weho at the end of June if all goes well. All of my friends up here have since returned to LA, the job situation here in Seattle, sucks like a toothless whore, and they have this thing down there called sunshine. It’s funny really because when I left 5 years ago, I really had the intention of coming here regrouping myself, of course the IT market up here 5 years ago was wonderful, big money, big perks, and I was newly single. I met Mike just about the time that I was getting ready to move back,and so of course I didn’t. I am glad that I didn’t I’ve had a chance to really get to know this area, and enjoy it. I think that it’s time for me to move back, to move somewhere else. I’ve toyed with the idea of movnig back East to be closer to my family, but the reality of that is that I’d move back to humid summers, cold/snowy winters, and probably see them just as much as I do now. LA holds nicer year round weather, I’m closeer to a lot of the people and things that I love. There is more oppurtunitys for work there than here. There are downsides to the move, I really do love it up here most of the year, there are way more people, more crime, bigger rents, and no smoking in bars (what a stupid idea). Well, I’ll just have to see how things go with my scouting mission at the end of this month. Now that I’ve caught up with life from the Holiday season I’ll have to keep this journal up to date.