Boy was I in a pissy mood this morning or what?!! I am glad that I vented all of those thoughts about work and such. I spoke with Phyliss (my dad’s wife) today, I am going to go down to Alabama to visit my dad earlier than I had originally planned to. I think getting out of town for 2 weeks and just hanging out with my dad will be a really good thing. We will probably drive on down to Florida, do some fishing and maybe visit my half-sister, Terry, whom I’ve never met. Priceline, has tickets for a little over 300, which is about 70$ less than Travelocity.
what to do about work. I really don’t like what I’m doing right now. I get depressed and hopeless about work when this type of thing comes up. I haven’t been able to find work that is both satisfying and profitable. The only thing that I find that I do that makes me happy and satisfied is being a house-husband. I like handling the bills and the grocerys and the errands. I would like to do this full-time however, it doesn’t pay the bills. The skill set that I have doesn’t seem to be in as much demand as it used to be which frightens me about future prospects. I see a lot of work for programmers and for web-development. Should I go back to school for these things, would I enjoy that type of work, what should I do? Could I go to work part-time at say a bookstore or a computer store, and do some work from home building and repairing PC’s. I’m stressed a lot of the time these days, with indiscession about what to do, caught up in this stress I’m unable to make positive action towards finding what I want to do and doing it. I feel like a lost child. There is a part of me that says that I if I could just get over having the belief that what I do should be enjoyable and fulfilling then I would be fine. I see lots of folks that I know doing work that they really don’t enjoy, and they stick with there jobs as unpleasant as it seems to them. I can’t seem to do this for whatever reason. Then there are all of the other things going on around my life, swirling thoughts. Grandma C’s death this past February, my family being so far away, the winter blahs, more people than not being rude and self-centered not thinking of anyone besides themselves. A lot of this disillusionment with work started with the ending of my job at Text100. I really really liked working there, and then bam my boss felt threatened by my growing relationship with the company and suddenly I was forced out of my position. That whole situation really hurt me, it changed the way that I look at companys and work as a whole. I made the choice to never play politics at work, I would rather leave a job and not work than to play that game. Companys have no loyalty to those that work hard and try to go beyond there job description. Someone, it seems always feels threatened that somehow it will end up making them look bad if you are actually productive and not just working for a paycheck. So here I am still, writing this makes me feel a little better but doesn’t really do anything towards an applicable solution. I guess I’ll just have to think more about this, not stress so much and waiting for the answer as to what to do. I do know this, I am more likely to find fulfillment with work if I am my own boss, if I create my own job as it were. I think I’ll talk some more with Mike about this later on tonight.