recovering and hopeful

I slept most of today, god I hate it when i drink. I always feel so dirty afterwards. I wasn’t completely useless today, I shopped went to the bank and applied for a job up in Edmonds. Matt is going to cut our hair (Mike and I) this coming weekend.

On a competely different not, I have a growing interest in Xiatianity going on, the idea of absolutes is so appealing to me at this time in my life. I don’t see anything other than more involvement with Catholicism happening, let’s review I’m gay, Xiatianity doesn’t have a model which I fit into neatly, I just always have to keep that in mind. anyway, just more ranting on my part. It’s just the pre-birthday funk going on. How old will I be, 38 woo-hoo. I like the round-ness of that number. 2001 sucked, it was a year full of death and seperation of uncertainty and mayhem. The only thing of significant goodness to come out of it for me anyway, was my reunion with my father after 26 years. California died for me this year, so did my second most significant relationship/frienshp. It’s time to move on and for that I’m happy as I can only see goodness and expansion in the future. In a lot of ways I feel like I’m leaving a dark cloud behind me and moving to the light of day.

As to what I want to do for work. I’m not sure really. I know a few things that I’ve taken away from my experiences in CS, I’m short tempered, I frustrate easily, I’m smarter than most and don’t tolerate ignornance or indecisiveness well. I like yes no answers and if you don’t know what you want don’t talk to me until you do. What all of this says to me is that CS techinical support although I’m very good at it is probably not what I should be doing. I enjoy building and fixing creating and making things with computers. I enjoy everything about books, being around them, the most satisfactory work I’ve ever done was working in bookstores. It doesn’t pay well, but it is the most “soul-feeding” work I’ve done. I enjoy cooking but don’t see that at this point in my life that is going to go anywhere. I also enjoy being a “house-husband” as well. I can really see myself doing a number of things, working part-time in a bookstore, as well as having some type of business operating out the house. I think that’s mostly what I’m going to focus on in the coming year.

I also want to focus on getting into good physical shape, I have a gym membership I need to use it.

I would also like to grow my programming skills, specifically I would like to learn to program in C++. Computer-wise I would also like to save enough money to buy a G4. I would like to make the switch over to OS X.

Finally I would also like to finally get the rest of my things from California. I think that the best way to do that is to fly down and then drive back (renting a car). I don’t imagine that I will be bringing back a lot, but you never know. I would like to do this before the end of february. Of course I am going to continue to get this home organized as I have been since the beginning of December, it really is making a difference. I think that these are my goals for 2002, learning to program, find my nitch workwise, tie-up my loose ends with sourthern california. and get things organized in my personal life. Sounds pretty good to me.

I feel better already.

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