Michael and I just had one of our very rare arguments. I had asked him earlier what he wanted for dinner as usual he said he didn’t know. I took that to mean I can’t make up mind right now. I asked him again and made a few suggestions later on. He said nothing. Around 8:30 he decided to make himself dinner without saying anything. It only annoyed me a little and felt like he was being inconsiderate espcially after I asked him several times what he wanted. I told him it annoyed me and he overreacted to my upset so as to avoid the issue. As if overwelming the situation allows him to avoid the communication. I told him this and he kept saying that I was making him the bad guy I kept trying to tell him that wasn’t the situation that I was tyring to get to what happened in the communication so we wouldn’t have to face that one again. He wouldn’t have any part of that. I told him that sometimes he acted like an idiot. That was a mistake, it was true, but it was a mistake to tell him that. Most people at times act like idiots, myself included. Ok so now we are taking a time out from each other and I find myself more upset than when this “really stupid little thing” happened. it’s funny that my immediate reacton whenever there is upset is to confront then leave. All of the difficult things in our realtionship start flooding my head. There aren’t a lot of them but the ones that ARE there like in any relationship end up seemingly much larger in an upset moment. Being upset is one of my least favorite emotions. Anxiety is another. Sometimes it is really hard getting through to him. I imagine that what will happen now is that we won’t discuss this unless I bring it up, that seems to be his way. There are times when our differences seem so much larger than our similaritys. I guess its true also that you don’t always see the commonalitys and what binds you unless the bond is broken and therefore its easy to take for granted what good there is.
Just a little over a week before my dad comes out to visit. I purchased Libranet Linux online. downloaded it and burn the cd. I am making room for it on my computer. I messed up a bit with my mp3’s I created the Win2k partition as an NTFS and can’t write to it from within BeOS. I am playing the compress and partition resize game now. After I am sure that this stuff is safe I will install LibraNet. I am very curious to see how well it is put together. I am always looking for a Linux distrib. that is compact, and doesn’t have a million different email programs, extraneous stuff that I don’t need want or won’t use. I like compact clean, japanese. Mike and I might be going up to Capitol Hill later on today for coffee and chat with Mathew. I went out to meet him and Katrina at the Rickshaw last night but they hadn’t gotten there by the time I showed up and there was nothing but a bunch of 20-something twinks, not even cute and the girls well, how much aquanet can you put on your hair? So I left came home got in my sweats and hung out with Mike. There was a rerun of Bladerunner so we laid in bed and fell asleep to that. Well my zip-o-matic thing is done more later.