I love days off even more I love the occasional day entirely to myself, no responsibilitys or errands to run only me, the Pants snacks and a bunch of movies. I do some of my best thinking on days like that. Today was no exception, while walking Mr. Fancypants on this cool Fall evening before all of the fires began, I started thinking about all the things the Universe has put on the plate and how I want to arrange them, how I want there outcome to look. I think about the people in my life right now, about the ebb and flow of friendships and other relationships. It really is all a cosmic dance. Some of the things are constants, Lonnie, Mr. Fancypants, Work, Food, God. Some of the things are aggravating because I feel blocked and limited on making them into what I want them to look like somedays. My body, my weight, How I am so Blessed to have found a way to work from home part-time making money while helping others to reach their goals and creating a source of income for themselves. Some of my thoughts today are like ghost-like, my father being one thought, my old job another, mainly because they haunt me with the pain they caused my inner child. I think how can I make my life a better one. That pretty much puts all of this together in one sentence. Out of this sort of self-examination I find what’s most important to me and ultimately the rest will just find its own place on whatever shelf in my life it does and I’m good with that. That last part there, the “being good with that”, I think that only comes with age because in my younger days I’d fret and worry about almost everything. How about you, what’s most important in your life and how does it affect your day to day?
My husband and I have lived in this same apartment now for over 7 years. We really love it here. We are central to all the things that are important to us, good restaurants, movies, shopping. Most of our closer friends live within 45 minutes of us and Our commute time to work by California standards is pretty close god-sent, mine is 20 mins and Lonnie is about 30 and NO freeways. Our apartment is a modest one bedroom but we have an amazing backyard.
It’s big enough to support three fruit trees, peach, nectarine and plum as well as a veggie garden in the Summer. I love where we live. We have been Blessed to have some amazing neighbors. When Lonnie first moved here, he became friends with a few of the other residents who I then became friends with by proxy. As time moved on people cam and went often within a year yet there remained for quite a few years this core set of neighbors. We would look out for each other, we became closer, followed each others life events supporting each others journeys. The people that were just neighbors became friends and extended family. I think that’s what happens when people stay put. In a lot of movies and for some reason most of them seem to take place in New York or Philadelphia there is this depiction of whole generations growing up in the same neighborhood with the same familys in the same home and how close everyone becomes. It almost always portrayed as an essential component of the character, its what gives them strength, motivates them on some level to overcome.
So Lonnie and I were talking a bit about this the other day when we were walking Mr. Fancypants on his after dinner walk. One of our long term neighbors had been slowly moving things into her car. We wondered if she were moving. I had spoken with her about a month or so before the cast and the walker and she shared that she had injured herself and was now going on disability. I happened to bump into her about two weeks ago, I was coming home, she was going somewhere. I told her Lonnie and I had noticed her moving stuff out to her truck, she said yes she was moving at the end of October, moving back East to be with her family and grand-babys. It made me a little sad actually because she had been such a good neighbor, she was even a customer of my business a few years back. It also made me sad because she shared that this wasn’t how she had planned it to go. She always planned to move back East, just not this way or now, it was always going to be in a few years. Well this past weekend was her last here, she’s now back East. Lonnie and I helped her move some things that were a bit heavy for her. We actually ended up with her bookcase, there’s a whole blog posting coming about how you merge your lives before with your married life. I think there a number of comedy skits that have said already what I will be saying. She stopped by on her last day to give me her contact info. I plan on keeping in-touch. She was the second to last of the neighbors we’ve grown close to. There is one of family left I can’t imagine them moving, we’ve become such good friends, they are like family to us.
For those of you that still use Tivo as your main DVR, prepare for something entirely new arriving fairly soon. Tivo Hydra is the new Tivo interface and by new I mean “completely different how do I do watch and record my stuff new.” So to help you all out I present this rather excellent YouTube video overview guide on the How’s and What’s.
A really moving article from @TheSeaLesbian who if you’re not following you should. Empathy is really the healing sauce in all of this. It is a gateway to Trust and Understanding and more importantly faciliates conversation.
— The Seattle Lesbian (@TheSeaLesbian) October 27, 2017
I’d be remiss if I didn’t post a link to my YouTube channel proposal video. I posted the video of my proposal to Lonnie awhile back and just kind of left it at that. Well about a few months ago I decided to check in on it see if anyone had viewed it. I do like to watch it now and again. It almost always makes me cry happy tears, reminding me of why I love my SnuggleButt husband so very very much even when he’s being annoying from time to time (as we all are). Well, long story short the blessed video has garnered over 50,000 views. I’m like #WOW. The thing for me is that there were some very sweet and lovely messages from guys that had seen our propsal video and it has inspried them they too will find their own love one day and that sort of thing. So here it is, please enjoy, feel free to comment and share with your own Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and other social media sites.
Time goes by so quickly, its really true. I remember my grandmother washing my hair in the kitchen sink as child. I was miserable as a child, scared of everything, still living traumatized by my mothers death, feeling abandoned, not sure why I was still alive or what was my place. turned to her and said “I really wish I were an adult, things would be much better.”. She briefly stopped washing my hair and with all seriousness said, “No you don’t. I’m telling you and it wont seem true now but you’ll remember when you’re older, when you’re very young things go by so slow and as you get older they go by faster and faster. this is the basic jist of the conversation. I’ve shared all this to say IT is true more so everyday now then it every was. This being said, and life moving faster than ever. I’ve been pondering a change in my life. Something I’ve want to do for a long time now. I’m looking to become a part of that small segment of the internet world that earns a living on the web. Its this new experiment to see if I can’t earn at least some of what I do in my regular 9-5 job doing what I love which is talking about food, vacation destinations my day to day and talking about all the many many gadgets that fill my home, grab my attention and then just as quickly fade when the new one comes along. I was first inspired by this idea of earning my keep doing what I love on the web from watching one of my favorite escape fantasy shows, House Hunters International. So Enter the lion on a new adventure in a new arena. Please please comment, if you like my posts, if you don’t like my posts. I’d really love to hear what you’d like to see and what you wouldn’t. I only ask that you be civil with one another, there seems to be far less of civility in the world than there could be.
A Catholic parish in San Diego hosted a special Mass recently to commemorate the 20th anniversary of “Always Our Children,” the U.S. bishops’ document addressed to parents with lesbian and gay children and to pastoral ministers. Attendees at the LGBT welcome Mass hosted by the Diocese of San Diego Bishop John Dolan, auxiliary bishop of…
Eat real food that makes you feel good from the inside out! That’s my motto and that’s why I’m sharing with you these delicious protein-packed lunch combinations that won’t leave you feeling like you just ate rabbit food or leave you hangry before you know it. I love this quote from Chris Rocchio – “If you […]
I really like the life I’ve created for myself. It’s not perfect for sure, however it is comfortable and familar and reliable. It has always been the small things that mean the most. I’ve never been a big gesture kind of person. The perfect coffee, Splenda, cream ratio, the feel of my comforter when I first wake up or go to sleep, my pillow. These are the sorts of things that make the inevitable bullshit that we all have to deal with tolerable lessons in life. Recently, I was laid off from my job, a really good job that I had just started at the beginning of the year after several months of seperating from the job I’d had for the last 8 years. In so many ways it felt like what I imagine a divorce to feel like. I was incredibly sad, mourning for the familar schedule, even as intolerable as it was. Sad that the few familar faces I’d liked there would no longer be a part of my day to day. There was anger as well, mostly because things could have been different but my first job and I had seperate ideas about how they could use my abilitys. Being laid off from the second job just a few weeks ago has been even more so a blow to my already shaken sense of self-worth and purpose. Maybe its a Hunter Gatherer sort of thing but in society a mans sense of worth and purpose are directly related to “what they do” and now here I AM not doing anything. It’s been a few weeks of self-reflection, assesment, daily attempts at self-healing, at being gentle with myself. The question now has become How do I move forward, what do I do for an income? For the first couple of weeks I’ve been just throwing my resume at the wall for more of the same thing I’ve been doing now for the last twenty plus years. I don’t think this is going to either work or bring me the sense of accomplishment and usefulness I’m looking for. I’ve had to really dive in and take a look at were my passion lies. I have another twelve years or so of working before I retire and I’d like for those years to be as joyfilled, as fufilling to myself and others as possible. Culling what you’re good at and what you like to do is an arduious task. For me I have always enjoyed helping others, its what I naturally do. So my direction now is a bit clearer than it was as far as what type of work to look for. I’m excited now because there is a sense of purpose here, firstly to find the work I’m meant to do and then of course to do it. I’m not sure how long or even were this path will lead but I’m confident that will provide new interesting experiences. So in the meanwhile, while I’m looking I think I’ll return to this perfect cup of coffee on just another Saturday morning.